Let’s be clear about one thing: the Law of Attraction always works. It works best and fastest when you’re focused on the thing you want to attract, and it’s still quite possible that what the title says is true.
It doesn’t have to be a girl. It can be a specific job, a specific opportunity, a specific house. Anything.
How Focusing on One Thing Can Be Bad?
Good question, especially since focus is one of the four basic LoA principles. But there’s focus and there’s focus, and you need to understand the difference ASAP or you risk throwing all your manifesting efforts down the drain.
Our feelings and beliefs play a crucial role in manifesting. You probably know that if, for example, you want to attract money but you have a subconscious belief that money is bad, you won’t be able to attract it until you change this core belief.
If you’re not feeling good about your manifestation, if you’re doubtful, if you have any fear, sadness, any resistance – it will block your vibration.
When that which you want to manifest is truly aligned with who you are, manifesting is easy and it comes naturally. Then your thoughts are naturally drawn to and aligned with that which you want to attract, and your focus on it spontaneously, without much effort.
But there are other cases, when we are trying to manifest something for the wrong reasons, and our focus on it isn’t natural. You know that’s the case when you have trouble staying focused on your manifesting desire, when you have to struggle to stay present.
It’s Not About What You Want, It’s About Why You Want It
Let’s use the girl from the title as the example.
When a boy is focused on attracting a specific girl, the reasons for it – not always, but in most cases – are among the following:
- She’s an ex who left him and he can’t stop thinking about her
- He doesn’t know her very well but she looks gorgeous
- He thinks she’s the one
- She rejected him already
- He thinks he loves her
Now let’s see why these reasons will block a boy from manifesting their successful relationship.
- She’s an ex. When we’re heartbroken and lonely, we tend to hold on to the person who left us like that, desperately hoping that she’d come back and make us peaceful and happy again. So we’re trying to manifest from the place of despair, sometimes selfishness, and it’s a dead end. What the boy really wants isn’t that girl, she’s only the representation of what he wants – and that is to be happy, to be calm. Instead of desperately focusing his attention to the girl who left, he should make peace with the fact that the two of them were no longer a vibrational match, and that he should now focus on attracting the happiness (which he really wants) in whichever form it comes.
- She looks gorgeous. If that’s the reason, he then wants a trophy, an object that he’ll be able to look at and to show to his friends. Most of the time the deeper reasons for this desire are low self-confidence and self-esteem, and he’s trying to compensate for the lack thereof. In this case, the boy should first work on his self-esteem – and when he fixes that deeper issue, if he still wants that same girl, it will be for the right reasons. And only then will he be able to attract her.
- She rejected him already. Similar to the previous one – the boy wanted her for the wrong reasons (if the reasons were right, their vibrations would have been a match right away) and the only reason he wants her now is to please his ego. That’s not a happy place to manifest from 😉
- He thinks she’s the one / he thinks he loves her. These are last on the list because any of the reasons above could be misinterpreted as love if you’re not completely honest with yourself. It could be any other reason, but the truth is, if she was the one, if she was his vibrational match – she’d be with him and there would be no reason for him to work on attracting her.
Whenever you work hard on manifesting something and it just isn’t happening, the reason is somewhere inside you, not in the Law of Attraction. Investigate your motifs, see if you have any negative beliefs holding you back and release everything that blocks your true vibration. The girl, the job, the house – if they aren’t coming, then you want something else, something that these things represent to you.
So see what it is that you really want – the only way to attract anything is to be true to yourself.