Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Fear holds you back from moving forward, it robs you of your authenticity, your true purpose and self-respect. Fear that you’re not good enough, fear that you’ll be rejected, that you’ll be abandoned or that you won’t succeed – even fear that you might actually succeed…
In order to achieve what you want in life you simply have to learn to let go of fear. You can’t just ignore the problem, it will only manifest in other areas of your life, so the sooner you face it the closer you’ll be to actually living your life.
Here are some things you can do:
Define your fear
When you feel displeasure, there’s usually a cause for it, right? What most people do is to try to look for a culprit in someone else – for example, your girlfriend said something that made you sad or angry, so you start blaming it on her, why is she like that, what was she thinking and so on, even though what she said could have been interpreted another way.
When you do this, you move away from yourself, but it’s you who got hurt. The next time this happens ask yourself why did it hurt you so much. Words have no other meaning than the one we give them, so why did you give that precise meaning to those words? Why have you chosen to get hurt instead of moving past the words that might have had entirely different meaning?
Try to dig a bit deeper, and you’ll probably discover that the reason why you reacted the way you did was because you have interpreted the words as a manifestation of fear.
Analyze your behavior
How are you dealing with this problem? If you’re being constructive and externalizing it – talking to your friends or other people who can help you to bring about a positive change, you’re on the right path as long as you don’t put too much focus on the negative side of it.
Acknowledge the fear
There’s no point in hiding from your fears – by doing that you’re giving them more power over you. Acknowledge that they exist, and work from there.
For some people, simply becoming aware of their fear is enough to make it less powerful. A good exercise to let go of it is to imagine the worst possible outcome as if it was real, and then to see the situation from that perspective: what usually happens is that you understand that it isn’t as bad as you thought and that you can move on.
Stop over thinking it
The simplest thing to do is to just let go of your fear once you acknowledge it. Letting go can be easy if you want, if you allow yourself to get out of the circle of overthinking and holding on to fear. Stop telling the stories of your past failures, past rejections, past hurts – the present moment is all you have, and it influences all your future moments. Do you want them to be full of fear, or do you want to embrace life and to live it as you should?
As Steve Pavlina said, “Fear is not your enemy. It’s a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow.”
Whatever you fear, it’s something you haven’t resolved within you. In order to be authentic, to live your life with passion and joy, you need to make an effort and to discover what it is that you should learn from your fear, what areas are yet to be dealt with.