Dec 062013

“I hate being fat“, “I am so depressed“, “I’m alone and nobody loves me“… Do you, or anyone you know, have the bad habit of dwelling on the same negative thoughts, over and over again?

The energy of your thoughts shapes your reality – you know that. “I am so depressed” – this thought draws your attention to the negative feeling you have, making you attract even more negative things to your life, which then makes you feel even worse…

Even if you don’t believe in the Law of Attraction, it just makes sense that we shouldn’t keep focusing our attention on the negativity. When we think about how unhappy, alone, unworthy we are, we usually expand on those thoughts, turning everything around us into the proof that we’re right.

Add the LoA to the equation and it becomes clear that we need to rid ourselves of this kind of thinking ASAP. But it’s not that easy to do when you’re stuck – you can’t just say “I am happy from now on“ and turn your life around the very second – although how we’re going to feel is a choice we make. Sometimes the habit of negative thinking is just too strong.

What (Usually) Happens When We Want to Change This?

When we understand that we can eliminate the negativity from our life by changing our thoughts (that is, the way we see our life), we then deliberately try to create positivity by thinking “happy thoughts”. But negative manifestations keep appearing in our life, and we can find ourselves in the “I tried being positive but it’s only getting worse” situations.

Not only does this demotivates us, but it makes us sink even deeper than where we were before we started being deliberately positive.

You see, our subconscious isn’t always as co-operative as we hope it would be. People usually try to change the negative thought patterns by simply replacing them with positive thought patterns, which isn’t the right approach.

For example, if you’ve been depressed for a while, the cheerless image of the world around you and you in it has been imprinted in your mind, it has become more than a thought, it’s now an established belief that everything around you fits into. You can’t suddenly change that image by repeating positive affirmations for a couple of days – affirmations are great, but without more effort your subconscious won’t accept it as true, and it won’t let you manifest the positive change because it doesn’t see it.

You need to be more persistent, and you need to understand what goes on inside your head in order to make a real, lasting change.

Becoming Unstuck in Two Steps

It’s not fast, especially if you’ve been dealing with a certain negative thought pattern for a while, but it can be done. The steps are fairly simple:

1. Examine your thoughts

For a few weeks keep a diary of your thoughts and reactions. Write down anything you notice and react to, and the way you reacted. After a while you should be able to spot a pattern, and in most cases it will be some sort of focusing your thoughts on what you don’t want instead of directing them towards what you do want.

For example, you may find yourself thinking more than once: “What a cute girl… but she’ll never be mine”, “Oh, he’s so successful – not a failure like me” and things like that.

You’ll probably find out that your dominant focus is on the things you don’t have or on things you think you’re unable to do (that’s the vicious circle that prevents you from becoming unstuck).

2. Change your focus

Every time you catch yourself slipping into this kind of thinking, remember to change your focus: instead of “That cute girl will never be with me” try to think “I’ll have a girl like that soon”, or at least stop at just noticing how cute she is.

When you hear yourself complaining – stop immediately, whether you’re doing it out loud or just in your mind.

Avoid observing negative situations and being around negative people, or people who make you feel bad about yourself, at least for a while. In case you can’t avoid them, try to not give them much attention, or even better, to put them in a positive context (at least in your mind).

For example, if you meet someone who normally makes you feel jealous or envious (we’re humans after all), don’t let these feelings take over – see if you can appreciate them for the exact things you envy them of instead. If it’s the looks, show your appreciation and be honest about it. Appreciation is one of the most powerful ways to attract what you want – while jealousy is a sure way to repel it.

Work on seeing the bright side of everything. It won’t be easy, but eventually it’ll start coming to you naturally. The more positive and appreciative you become, the easier it will be. And you know how like attracts like – guess what you’ll be attracting then!