Do you still miss your ex? Are you haunted by the memories of your past failures? You can’t forgive those who did you wrong?
We all have some things we wish never happened, opportunities we wish we didn’t miss, regrets, painful spots… Some of these situations, we don’t normally think about them, but when something happens and reminds us of them, we instinctively feel all the shame, guilt, sadness, feeling of being powerless that we felt back then.
We even tend to associate people, places or circumstances that are connected to it with an unpleasant feeling in our gut. But a place didn’t do you wrong, neither did a smell, nor someone who was there by accident.
How Does That Influence Your Life Now?
The bar where you first met your ex – how does it feel when you pass by it? You avoid the street he lives in, you desperately try to avoid the whole neighborhood; some people will move to another country just to make sure that they’ll never run into the ex who broke their heart.
Now, this doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing – perhaps they are now living on a tropical island, drinking cocktails with umbrellas and walking on the beaches hand in hand with the love of their life.
Avoiding a certain bar or a street isn’t a bad thing by itself either – it will certainly help your health to walk a bit more than you would normally do. But what if you get a call from a potential client who wants you to redecorate his 2,000 sq feet apartment which is inconveniently located in that street? Would you refuse it, or try to find a way to do it via Skype?
What if the romantic dinner your gorgeous new boyfriend has prepared for you is the exact one that the cheating bastard prepared when he tried to apologize? What if the song that played when you first got fired is a part of the morning ritual of a man whose office is right next to yours (and the walls are thin)?
Would you pick a fight with them, leave, or sit silently, drowning in tears?
These things can seriously mess your life; and the worse news is, the more you resist, the worse it will be.
What Does It Mean?
The bar, the street, the song, the dinner… They’re appear in your life for a reason.
No, it’s not that the universe wants to punish you because you did something terribly wrong. The universe isn’t doing it at all – you are.
You know that the song didn’t get you fired, that the dinner wasn’t the reason why your ex had cheated on you – it’s the meaning you gave them; and you can change what they mean at any time if you only choose to stop being so stubborn. But here’s the catch: you don’t want to.
Even if you’re not consciously thinking about it, your disturbing memories are disturbing because they’re associated with some unfinished business.
The ex cheated and left; that brought you to feel unworthy of love, that you have somehow deserved it.
You got fired; getting fired is stressful and can be degrading – and it also makes you feel really bad about yourself.
Years have passed, you’re now in a great relationship or very successful in business. But the dinner and the song still create that awful feeling in your gut.
That’s your subconscious letting you know that you will have to deal with the past sooner or later. It’s your choice and you don’t have to, of course.
But you better do; your subconscious is sending, perhaps not that high, but persistent vibration which could one day create a situation where you’ll hear a part of your great new boyfriend’s telephone call and misinterpret it for a secret date with his assistant. Or a situation where you’ll be led to doubt your intuition and cause a disaster to your company.
Removing the trigger that brings back the bad memory, or re-associating it with something more positive, isn’t going to fix this; it will certainly help you to avoid certain unpleasant situations (which is a good thing), but it won’t remove what is causing it.
You need to become aware of the problem you have, and to dig deeper to find and finally release negative feelings associated to that situation – please check the article on the link above, there are a few very effective ways to do that there.
And then move on to your bright future, free to manifest the real life you want.